Tender After Everything

God Who Renews the Heart,

Pain can make hardness feel safe.

If I expect less, perhaps I will be disappointed less.

If I remain distant, perhaps no one will gain enough access to hurt me again.

If I stop caring, perhaps loss will become easier to bear.

But the protection hardness offers comes at a cost.

A heart closed to pain can also become closed to joy, trust, compassion, and love.

Your Word speaks of בָּשָׂר (basar).

Flesh.What is living, responsive, and capable of feeling.

You promise to replace the heart of stone with a heart that is alive.

Do this work in me.

Do not return me to naivety.

Let experience make me wiser, not colder.

Let boundaries protect what is tender without burying it.

Teach me that softness is not the absence of strength. It is the refusal to let another person’s failure determine the condition of my soul.

Where disappointment has hardened my expectations, restore hope carefully.

Where betrayal has made me suspicious of everyone, help me recognize those who have shown themselves trustworthy.

Where anger has kept grief from healing, give me courage to feel what I have avoided.

I do not want the person who wounded me to shape the way I love everyone who comes after them.

Preserve what is human within me.

Keep me capable of being moved.

Capable of receiving kindness.

Capable of offering love without abandoning wisdom.

After everything, let my heart remain alive in Your hands.

Amen.